It’s late and I’m sitting in the dim, thinking, praying, surrounded by haphazard piles of things to be packed. We leave in only a few short days for Ethiopia.
For near a decade, it has always been this tiny little unit here, just us three. (not including the cat) And in a sense this is our last week to marvel in the special beauty and uniqueness God has shown us as He’s built and cared for us 3 together. Like the last few days before a wedding. A flurry of activity and preparation and wrapping up one chapter and being ready to embark on another of mass proportions. The bringing of this little girl into our tight family core… watching and participating and loving… knitting us into a foursome…
Today, three times, this scripture came up before me, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” Phil 4:6 There have indeed been some mighty anxious moments this past week. And the weightiness of it all. Adopting a child. I want to say and promise this will be just like when Alicia was born. That I will see and love her as if she came from my own body. And that the motherly instincts will be just as strong. But I have a feeling that while I will come to completely love, (and deeply already adore this little girl), we do not know each other yet and it will not be the same as what I experienced with Alicia, my sweet and fiery firstborn… it was also my first as a brand new clueless mom!! So I softly voice these thoughts through the hours to the Almighty and let Him take the weight.
Farther down in that passage, the Bible says to set my thoughts on things that are true and noble and right and pure and lovely and commendable and excellent and praiseworthy. I glance around at the diapers and sippy cups and tiny clothes and borrowed duffle bags and loaned maxi skirts and box of beautiful bedding and regifted baby furniture strewn about my living room. They all represent people who have showered incredible love on our family and this new little darling about to come into our family. We are SO RIDICULOUSLY blessed and thankful. I think of all who have helped by giving toward our adoption expenses. And those who have ceaselessly cared for us through the years with prayers and encouragement and walked along with us during the ever stretching wait.
Tonight I will lay my head down with the knowledge that once again, I have no idea about the road ahead and it is probably not what I expect. But it’s gonna be GOOD. Wahoooo!!!