Some days I just wake up and rabbit trail all day long. You know, where you start one thing and it leads to another and four hours later you can’t believe how the day got away but you simply must finish the task you now find yourself in, even though spit shining the baseboards behind the toilet wasn’t what you had on the agenda at all. (gaaa! Must you really ask if I used my spit? I didn’t ok? Carry on)
Today was a cleaning rabbit trail. I PLANNED on taking Alicia to a new park in Morrisville that I’d read about. I’d planned on straightening my hair and filling my bird feeder up, and maybe applying myself to some time with the sewing machine. Somehow entering my daughter’s tornado of a room to ask if she’d done her teeth and the knowledge that a good friend is flying in to town tomorrow (and might possibly come over in the near future, heaven forbid she see our abode looking so lived in) launched me into this absolute crazy cleaning mode. By 9am I was already on my stomach pulling out scraps of trash from under Alicia’s bed. In order to save her room from being completely upheaved by energized mom, Alicia was compelled to also launch into this cleaning frenzy. Together for an hour, we sorted, organized, folded, and threw away. Since I could now see the carpet again, why not vacuum it? Real quick, mind you. Got to get to the park.
But vacumming has this soothing effect on me. The lines in the carpet look so clean and precise I can’t stop at just one room. I make my way in and out each room and vacuum the whole upstairs! Beautiful. Which leads to MY room and all its messy contents. Not so beautiful. (Yep, the park has vanished from my thoughts.) I’m motivated and MULTI-TASKING. I think.
I dive into straightening drawers, stacking bedside books, organizing the closet and unrumpling the sheets. Emerging some time later, it MAKES SENSE that rather than carry the vac down to the hall closet and just be done with it, I carefully use the vac hose and vehemently suck the life out of the stairway… down each step, …sweat now beading on my upper lip. Gee that banister sure is grimy.
Out come the Lysol wipes to tackle that banister. But those handy dandy squares of chemical cleaner are in the kitchen and wait, I see an ant on my counter. They must be enjoying those dirty dishes. Lysol wipes forgotten, I plunge into a major dishwashing session, suds up to my elbows and grease splattering my new camisole. Dang. Dishwasher emptied, faucet off, pots dried, I dash upstairs to change. While I’m at it with my cami, I should just bring down Alicia’s dirty clothes as well. Down to the laundry room and I start a load of laundry. Fishing out the gobs of lint from the dryer (and folding the dry towels still occupying it), I toss it into a nearly full trash, …aaand like any normal wife who doesn’t leave the rubbish for her fella, I lug the bag into the garage. Hmmm, Julia doesn’t have water or food in her bowls. Ok, fill them. Should I do the litter too? Nah. I’ll leave that for Alicia. You know, teaching responsibility and all that. I astound myself with my parenting skills.
Finally snagging those Lysol wipes… for the banister… I twirl past the stove, and remember how crusty the microwave is and while I’ve got the wipes I ought to just give it a swipe right? Oh man. WHY is the microwave always so grody?? If only those dots of exploded food stuck to the inside could be wiped up right away before being cooked to oblivion and solidifying rock hard on the microwave wall. But that’s impossible. The reason I use the microwave is because I’m IN A HURRY and usually hungry. (I briefly recall someone saying once if I nuke a cup of vinegar inside it will be a cinch to clean. Ok, I’ll try that next time) No joke, 50 minutes later I finally close that sparkling microwave door closed. And because wipes are in hand, I decide to wipe down the downstairs toilet and floor, and then the window sills and baseboards in the dining room as well. (It’s a good thing I buy the economy size container of these brilliant wipes) Finishing that last sill, I realize I’m leaning over the temporary puzzle table in the corner loaded with Alicia’s art projects, some back to school lists, and lots of cat hair. I can’t just ignore THAT?!
Yes I AM making my way to the banister, but ON THE WAY, Mr. Clean Magic Eraser for the edges of every downstairs door with fingerprints… and the wall by the stairs too. Ok, now the banister. Oh it is dirty. Wow. It’s a good thing I caught this.
By now, my ungloved hands are beginning to feel the toxic effects of the Magic Eraser and Lysol wipes and the pink paint on my nails is all chipped from the scrubbing of the microwave. I desperately need a shower too. What has Alicia been doing these past hours? I was going to take her to the park!!! She’s been happily perfecting her gymnastics in the bonusroom, constructing a Lego village at the top of the stairs, and using more paper than should be legal for more art projects that I will find and “take care of” in a few days. Incredibly she’s discovered if she stays busy and our of moms way, she probably won’t get roped into one of moms chores. (aaaand playing is WAY more fun)
(sigh) This day has mostly escaped. How did I tumble down this rabbit trail? Bounce bounce bounce. It has been SIX hours of this hopping from one cleaning project to the next. I’m blaming it on the fact that Alicia had Sweet Betsy From Pike on repeat playing in her CD player and I sort of got hypnotized. But my energy levels are spent and the park is a distant effort I will move to another day on the calendar. A shower, a book, and something sweet sounds better.
I probably should have warned you (if you’re even still with me here) that this blog contains a big fat zero when it comes to worthwhile reading. I just felt like typing out my ridiculous day and marveling at how many spelling errors I had to fix.